“Let fear be a counselor and not a jailer.” - Tony Robbins

Anxiety is a universal human experience. Whether it shows up as a racing heart, restless thoughts, or an overwhelming sense of dread, anxiety has a way of demanding our attention. In an era where political landscapes are shifting, economic instability is rising, and wars continue to unfold across the globe, the collective anxiety we experience is more profound than ever. Many of us feel as though we are constantly bracing for the next crisis, unsure of what tomorrow will bring.

For most, the instinctive reaction to anxiety is to run from it—to push it away, distract ourselves, or numb the discomfort with substances, busyness, or avoidance. But what if there was another way? What if, instead of running from anxiety, we learned to befriend it?

In my work as a therapist, I’ve witnessed countless clients shift their relationship with anxiety—from seeing it as an enemy to recognizing it as a messenger. By leaning into anxiety rather than resisting it, we can uncover deeper truths about ourselves and cultivate resilience in the face of life’s challenges.

Between the pressures of work, financial strain, and the constant stream of distressing world events, many of us are carrying more anxiety than ever before. Some describe this time as one of psychological awakening—an opportunity to reassess emotional well-being and prioritize what truly matters. Others feel overwhelmed by collective trauma and uncertainty. Yet, through the discomfort, there lies an invitation: to turn toward anxiety with curiosity and compassion, rather than fear.

This doesn’t mean embracing anxiety uncritically or letting it take over your life. Instead, it means developing a mindful relationship with it—one that acknowledges its presence without judgment and seeks to understand its underlying message.

Why Do We Run From Anxiety?

Running from anxiety is understandable. It feels uncomfortable, even unbearable at times. The physical symptoms—tightness in the chest, shallow breathing, trembling—can mimic panic, while the mental symptoms—racing thoughts, catastrophizing, fixation on worst-case scenarios—can leave us feeling out of control.

But here’s the paradox: the more we try to escape anxiety, the more entrenched it becomes. Avoidance reinforces the belief that anxiety is dangerous or intolerable, creating a cycle of fear and resistance. Over time, this pattern can lead to chronic stress, exhaustion, and even depression.

The Power of Befriending Anxiety

When we choose to befriend anxiety, we step off the hamster wheel of avoidance and begin a journey of self-discovery. Anxiety, at its core, is a protective mechanism. It arises when we perceive a threat—real or imagined—and signals that something important is at stake. By listening to anxiety, we can gain insight into our values, fears, and unmet needs.

For example, imagine feeling anxious before a big presentation at work. On the surface, the anxiety might seem like an obstacle—a nuisance you’d rather avoid. But beneath the surface, it may reflect a deep desire to succeed, connect with others, or prove your competence. When viewed through this lens, anxiety transforms from an adversary into an ally, guiding you toward growth and alignment with your goals.

How to Befriend Anxiety

Befriending anxiety requires patience, practice, and a willingness to sit with discomfort. Below are some strategies to help you develop a healthier relationship with anxiety:

Acknowledge Its Presence: Start by naming your anxiety. Say to yourself, “I notice I’m feeling anxious right now,” or “This is anxiety showing up.” Simply acknowledging it without judgment can reduce its intensity and create space for reflection.
Get Curious About It Ask yourself: What is this anxiety trying to tell me? Is it signaling a boundary that needs to be set? Highlighting a fear that needs to be addressed? Or pointing to a value that feels threatened? Journaling or verbal processing with a trusted friend or therapist can help clarify these insights.
Ground Yourself in the Present Moment: Anxiety often pulls us into the future, filling our minds with “what if’s.” Grounding techniques—such as focusing on your breath, noticing sensory details in your environment, or practicing mindfulness meditation—can anchor you in the present and calm your nervous system.
Reframe Anxiety as a Messenger: Instead of viewing anxiety as an enemy, see it as a guide. For instance, if you’re anxious about starting a new project, reframe it as excitement and anticipation. If you’re worried about a loved one, recognize it as a sign of care and connection. Sometimes it’s your body’s way of telling you to say no to something, other times it’s to lean in more…Reframing shifts your perspective and reduces the power anxiety holds over you.
Engage in Self-Compassion: Anxiety can trigger harsh self-criticism, leaving us feeling inadequate or broken. Practice self-compassion by offering yourself kindness and understanding. Remind yourself that anxiety is a natural response to stress and that you’re doing the best you can.
Explore Creative Expression: Sometimes words aren’t enough to process anxiety. Art therapy, music therapy, movement therapy, or expressive writing can provide alternative outlets for releasing and understanding your emotions. Let creativity flow without judgment—it’s not about perfection but expression.
Seek Support When Needed: If anxiety feels overwhelming or persistent, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. A therapist trained in anxiety treatment can help you explore its roots, develop coping strategies, and build resilience.

The Benefits of Befriending Anxiety

By shifting your relationship with anxiety, you open the door to profound personal growth. Here are some key benefits:

Increased Self-Awareness: Understanding the messages behind your anxiety helps you align with your values and priorities.
Improved Emotional Regulation: Learning to tolerate discomfort strengthens your ability to manage difficult emotions.
Greater Resilience: Facing anxiety head-on builds confidence in your ability to handle challenges.
Deeper Connection: Sharing your struggles with trusted others fosters intimacy and support. Enhanced Well-Being: Releasing resistance to anxiety reduces stress and promotes inner peace.

A Final Thought

Anxiety will always be part of the human experience—it’s wired into our biology as a survival mechanism. But how we relate to it is within our control. By befriending anxiety, we transform it from a source of suffering into a catalyst for healing and growth.

As Carl Jung once said, “What you resist, persists.” When we stop resisting anxiety and start embracing it as a teacher, we reclaim our power and deepen our connection to ourselves. So the next time anxiety shows up, pause. Take a deep breath. And ask yourself: What wisdom does this moment hold?

If you’re ready to explore your relationship with anxiety and develop tools to thrive, I’m here to help. Dana Andrews with True Nature Psychotherapy offers online therapy services throughout California, specializing in anxiety, trauma, and relational healing. Reach out today to schedule your free consultation.

Befriending Anxiety vs. Running From It: A New Path to Healing